yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Woke up backwards on a recliner
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Randomize
