some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Randomize
