I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
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