For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
