I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
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