I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Randomize
