...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
