it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
