He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
They took my balls.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Randomize
