Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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