I am in a vortex of obligation.
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Randomize
