So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
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