Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
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