Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
