well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
cat food counts as protein by the way
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Houston, we have a squirter
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize
