He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize
