the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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