do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Dicks are not precious.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
