I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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