Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
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