I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Randomize
