help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
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