She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Randomize
