Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
