Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
oh god was she eating orange peels again
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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