Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
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