My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
I need moral support for this bender
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
