Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
