You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Randomize
