I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
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