What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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