She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Randomize
