She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
I see more hoeing in ur future
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