Pants 0. Shit 1.
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
