Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Randomize
