i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Randomize
