are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
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