I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Randomize
