i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
