A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
