What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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