Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
