but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
Randomize
