I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Randomize
