Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
