Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
