you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Randomize
