Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
