thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Randomize
