Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
